Why I Deserve The Rights To Snail Mail

For those of you who don't know, Snail Mail is a casual game developed by the now-defunct Sandlot Games in 2004. When I was a wee lad I used to play that game kind of a lot since it was fun and funny at the same time.

Now I'm not going to get too far into the merits of Snail Mail, and I'll keep the summary brief. Basically, you play as Turbo the Snail and your job is to deliver intergalactic mail while trying to avoid falling into the cosmic abyss or running face-first into enemy slugs.

The game plays nicely, the jokes are pleasant and it's a nice way to unwind if your brain is too melted or worn down to play something more taxing.

So let's get to the title of this video, why do i deserve the rights to Snail Mail? First, let me make it clear that I don't want to get anything from the original Snail Mail, the profits from that will still go to whatever legal entity is collecting revenue from Sandlot Games these days.

All I want is to legally and contractually own the intellectual property and associated trademarks of Snail Mail, so that theoretically I could choose to make a sequel, I could choose to write a book in the expanded universe or I could even just use Turbo the Snail as a character as I see fit. I want that freedom. I want the option.

I might not even end up using the IP, which is part of why this is such an appealing idea for either Sandlot Games, the also defunct Digital Chocolate, this company called RockYou, or the lead guy who worked on Snail Mail who I think works at Ubisoft now or something.

The point is that someone more eager to use the IP might not be thinking clearly. The excitement of owning such a property might actually end up clouding their ability to set an appropriate goal. If someone comes to you saying that they'll create an 800-episode webseries based on your IP, you tell them to get lost since that's not likely to happen, and even if it does happen it won't be good.

I'm saying: "Hey. I want the rights to Snail Mail. Maybe I'll use them, maybe I won't. I'm waiting for a good opportunity to use it."

It's the side of reason and it's a sensible deal to make. Who knows, maybe I'll use it in such a way that actually nets whoever some publicity, money or whatever else. It's not like they're ever gonna make Snail Mail 2 or use any Snail Mail related imagery in anything ever. It's basically a dead-end for them unless they give it to me- a reasonable, well-adjusted 18 year old who genuinely deserves the rights to Snail Mail.